Bush League Road Trips

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BY ERNEST STEWART, Editor, Issues & Alibis

“On the road again. I just can’t wait to get on the road again.”
On The Road Again
~~~ Willie Nelson

“Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran!” ~~~ Senator Joseph Lieberman

Our national embarrassment has hit the road again and spent the week in Europe enraging and boring half a billion people. Some of the highlights of this latest State Department fiasco include…

The many brownie points that Putin scored ending Bush’s cold war stalemate by offering to build the “BMD” system for Bush and placing it in Azerbaijan. It made Putin seem magnanimous and compromising next to our little brain-dead. As Conan O’Brien said about Bush… “There was an awkward moment when Bush said, ‘I believe the correct pronunciation is Abracadabra.’”

Bush did miss a few meetings after he got loaded on beer and caught the hangover from hell. At least while he was retching into the commode he wasn’t doing worse things at the G-8 where as usual the rich got richer and the poor got screwed. Meanwhile outside the people fought a running battle with the German Gestapo while our rulers were protected from the people they enslave by thousands of miles of fences and Constantina wire. This time George didn’t molest the German Chancellor, or if he did at least not on camera.

After the summit Bush was off to Italy to dodge tens of thousands of protesters and chat with the Panzer Pope. Joey Ratz, like Bush, is hated wherever he goes, however, Joey is a distant second when compared to W. Still they both preach the same message of hatred and bullshit and they both think they talk with god, so the two have much in common and are fast friends! Joey Rats did mention Iraq in passing while our west Taxus prairie monkey looked like a little boy who needed to go to the bathroom.

Then George flew off to Albania where they cheered him and called him John, thinking perhaps he was John F. Kennedy? Everyone in Europe agrees that’s there is something very, very wrong with Albania! Bush got cheers when he promised Kosovo’s independence despite warnings by Belgrade and Moscow that it would violate U.N. resolution 1244 regarding Serbia’s integrity. Little things like the United Nations or treaties have never stopped der Fuhrer yet, have they?

Finally Bush was off to Sophia, Bulgaria winding up his tour of European countries Monday amid strong security measures for meetings with Bulgarian President Georgi Parvanov, and Prime Minister Sergu about locating the radar and such for the “BMD” or the US Ballistic Missile Defense. A military-industrial complex gimmick that is much ado about nothing except for the 100’s of billions of dollars that it feeds our corpo-rat masters from the wallets of hard-pressed Americans.

In Other News

I saw old “5th column Joe” Lieberman on “Fake The Nation” the other day. Joe, speaking for the Zionazis in Tel Aviv and their pals in the Junta, called for the immediate bombing of Iran as well as an invasion by our Panzers if Iran objects to being blown to tiny bits by our Junior Birdmen. Lieberman’s saber rattling is just one of many new attacks the Junta is using in its run up to war with Iran. Another rattling saber this week comes from Defense Secretary Robert Gates who swears with a straight face that Iran is now supplying arms to its mortal enemy the Taliban. Sure Bobby tell us another one! These new lies are exactly like the attacks that old Dead-Eye Dick, Rummy, Colon, Kinda-Sleezy and many, many others made during our run up to the invasion of Iraq.

Lieberman, the well known “Quisling from Connecticut,” after leaving his cover as a Democrat he’s finally come out of the closet as the Israeli stooge that he’s always been. With Joe’s help, instead of ending the disaster that is Iraq, we’ll be expanding the war into Iran. I’m sure America is willing to pay the price, squandering many more of our children and other treasure that the Iran invasion will require. The likes of Nixon/Goebbels will make the world’s largest profit again and again for many years to come. Not to mention that said invasion will be the straw that broke the camel’s back and will no doubt trigger World War III.

Remember how scared you were when Kinda-Sleezy warned of Mushroom Clouds? Think of how scared you’ll be when the H-bombs start falling from the sky like rain thanks to the greed of the “Crime Family Bush!” “Wanna see something really scary…?”

And finally the 40th anniversary of the 6-day war has come and gone and yet the world didn’t end. Imagine that! I’ve been hearing from many followers of the Yahweh myth for the last 10 years or so that the world as we knew it would surely end and the righteous would leave this world, their clothes and property behind to float off to “Never-Never Land.” So Doctor Bill, you won’t be needing that new Porsche Turbo Carrera anymore, having floated up to your final reward, I’m assuming you won’t mind if I drive it from now on? Is that all right Doc? Doc, can you hear me?

Special thanks

There’s good news tonight, America. Thanks to your generous contributions I now have the June bill paid and most of what I need for July so we will continue to publish! Hooray!!! Yippee!!! With just a little more of your help we’ll be 2/3 of the way there with just September to contend with. So if you’ve been sitting on the fence with a contribution now is the time to stand up and be counted. A little more help Ya’ll!

Personally I’ve gone from the UMC to the back of the food stamp line (literally) trying to bring you the truth about the “Crime Family Bush” and their pals. I can no longer afford to fund the magazine. So if Issues Alibis is going to continue to bring the truth and the stories that you can’t find anywhere else it’s totally up to you to save the magazine. A handful of heroes have stood up for the truth and said no to the war. Will you give us your support, too? United we stand America, divided we fall, so please join with me to keep the fight for our freedoms going.

If you want to see us continue send me whatever you can a.s.a.p. via check or postal money order made out to Ernest Stewart. Or you can send cash if you prefer. Place it in an envelope (and in the case of cash, wrap it in a sheet of paper) and send it to:

Ernest Stewart
PO Box 751
Wayne, Michigan 48184-0751

Ernest (”Uncle Ernie”) Stewart is a senior contributing editor to Cyrano, and the editor and creator of a unique political blog, Isssues & Alibis.

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