Ted Nugent—adding up his resume

The triumph of moral backwardness

For all his bragadoccio, Nugent is not about to pick up his bows and rifles and go serve in Iraq or Afghanistan any time soon...people get hurt over there.

Nugent himself has admitted that wanting no part of the Vietnam mess, he had no qualms in pulling a fast one on his draft board.

"The future of the shooting sports in this country is in the hands of tomorrow's Outdoorsmen and women. The youth of America must be educated to the Wholesome and valued world of hunting and conservation. Because rock 'n roll plays such a pivotal role in a young person's life, I will share my wonderful lifestyle and experiences with them."
--Ted Nugent

BORN: 12/13/48
STATS: 6'3", 180 lbs., hazel eyes, lots of hair, surplus attitude and energy
FAMILY: wife Shemane, daughters Starr and Sasha, sons Toby and Rocco

Began bowhunting in 1953, playing guitar in 1956

Recorded 30 albums 1967-2005

Sold over 30 million albums worldwide

Considered the #1 Guitar Showman in the world

Performing professionally since 1958, nonstop yearly touring since 1967

Ted Nugent Summer 2005 Tour, which kicked off July 1, continues to set
Attendance records at venues nationwide

Performed for 55,000 Marines, Sailors & families at Camp Pendleton's Rockin' the Corps, along with Destiny's Child, Godsmack, Kiss and more.

Toby Keith/Ted Nugent Big Throwdown Tour, Winter 2005

Toby Keith/Ted Nugent USO Tour throughout Persian Gulf, Spring 2004

Hit Reality Television Show, SURVIVING NUGENT, on VH1 2003-2004

Creator and producer of the Outdoor Channel's Ted Nugent Spirit of the Wild, three-time winner of the People's Choice Best Hunting Show

Golden Moose Award

Rated #1 Hunt Partner by North American Hunting Club

Active on National Steering Committee for Bush, and
Sportsmen for Bush, 2004

Winner of the first-ever ATV Image Award. Presented by ATV Industry Magazine for commitment to outdoor life, hunting and recreation, 2004

Full Bluntal Nugity DVD, on Spitfire, 2003

Craveman recording on Spitfire, 2002

#1 Grossing Tour Act in the world 1977, 1978 and 1979

Formed Damn Yankees in 1989. Sold 5 million albums

Live at Hammersmith recording on Sony, 1997

Top 10 Grossing Tours of 2000 with KISS

New York Times Best Selling Author, GOD, GUNS & ROCK-N-ROLL, Regnery
Publishing, 2000; KILL IT AND GRILL IT, Regnery Publishing, 2002;
BLOODTRAILS: THE TRUTH ABOUT BOWHUNTING
and BLOODTRAILS II, Woods N; Water, Inc. 2004

Host of the #1 rated Ted Nugent Morning Show, WWBR, Detroit

Creator and host of the Ted Nugent Commando Radio show for 10 years,
Detroit, Michigan

Honored on the floor of the U.S. Senate, 1994

Named Father of the Year at children's school

Named Michigan Conservationist of the Year, 1999

ALWAYS outspoken about drugs and alcohol throughout career

Recipient of numerous commendations from state police, sheriff departments, FBI, DEA, U.S. Army and police agencies nationwide

Editor/Publisher of Ted Nugent Adventure Outdoors Magazine

President: Ted Nugent United Sportsmen of America

Founder: Ted Nugent Kamp for Kids

Founder: Ted Nugent Bowhunting School and SUNRIZE SAFARIS, booking, guiding
and outfitting adventures worldwide

Creator and producer of award-winning Ted Nugent Spirit of the Wild PBS (sic) video series, raising in excess of $3 million for PBS affiliates nationwide.

Outspoken pro-hunting media crusade, conducting 5-10 prime media interviews every week, impacting millions every day.

Aggressive campaign on lecture circuit promoting individualism through outdoor sports and conservation to the youth of America

Created highly successful teleconferencing program to school systems Nationwide

Appointed to Board of Directors of the National Rifle Association, 1995-present

Spokesman for National Field Archers Association, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Drug Abuse Resistance Education
(D.A.R.E.) law enforcement program

Official rock-n-roll, hunting, conservation representative of the Rush Limbaugh EIB Radio and Television Network

Guest speaker at International Law Enforcement Convention by invitation from Director of FBI William Webster, Edwin Meese and President Ronald Reagan

Appointed to Michigan Year of the Family Council by Governor John Engler

Named Man of the Year by Michigan Recreation and Parks Association

Keynote Speaker for Native American Fish & Wildlife Society National
Conference, Anchorage, Alaska, 1995

Named Archery Commissioner by Governor John Engler for the Great Lakes State Games

Appointee to Michigan's Hunting and Fishing Heritage Task Force

Recipient of 1999 National Arbor Day Conservation Award

Director, Quality Deer Management Association of Michigan, Three Rivers Chapter

Appointee, Michigan State Parks Foundation

Board of Directors, Lyme Alliance

Michigan County Sheriff Deputy, 1978-present

Nominee, Handgun Hunters Hall of Fame

Nominee, Outstanding American Handgunner Award

Inducted into the Native American Strongheart Society by the Lakota Sioux,
Northern Cheyenne and Arapahoe Tribes

Keynote Speaker for 1995 Governor's Symposium on North American Hunting
Heritage, Green Bay, Wisconsin

Certified Hunter Safety Instructor and International Bowhunter Education
Foundation Instructor

Honored in the Congressional Record by Congressman Jim Barcia, 1993

Huron School District Student Youth Counselor

Two-time recipient of the Kentucky Colonel Award, on behalf of the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

Designer of Nugent Blade Broadhead, Ted Nugent BloodBrother Bow and
signature line of hunting gear.

Professional staff advisor for Sims Vibration Labs, Renegade Archery, Magnus, Medalist,
Browning, GameTracker, Mossy Oak, LaCrosse.

Rock-n-Rolls approximately 6 months per year, hunts 6 months per year

Regular columnist and contributor to more than 40 publications

Life Member of:
The National Rifle Association (NRA), Michigan Bow Hunters, Citizen's
Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, Second Amendment Foundation,
Gun Owners of America, Gun Owners of California, Director Law Enforcement
Alliance of America, New York City Benevolent Policeman's Association,
National Wildlife Federation, Ducks Unlimited, Michigan United Conservation
Clubs, Michigan Big Game Hunters Association, Handgun Hunters International,
Michigan Sheriff's Association, National Trappers Association, U.S.
Sportsmen's Alliance, Wisconsin Bowhunters Association, Mississippi
Bowhunters, Drug Abuse Resistance Education (DARE) Spokesman, Outdoor
Writers Association of America, Coalition of Michigan Hunters, National
Field Archers Association (NFAA), Director Canadian Outdoor Heritage
Alliance (COHA), Putting People First, South Dakota Archery Association,
Maryland Bowhunters Society, Arizona Bowhunter Society, United Bowhunters of
Connecticut, Massachusetts Bowhunting Association, United Bowhunters of
Pennsylvania, Ohio Society of Traditional Archers (OSTA), South Carolina
Bowhunters, Director: Michigan Bowhunting Conference and Vice President:
American Shooting Sports Council

"Ted has his facts. He is very articulate and is also bold, honest, not shy or afraid to meet any challenge. He is carrying on the work which Fred Bear did so wisely and so well," -Dick Mauch, Director of Archery Manufacturers Organization, lifelong personal friend of Fred Bear

Now let's add it all up (no surprises, guaranteed!).

Here's some of the logical conclusions:

1. THEOLOGICAL IMPLICATION

The survival and wild success of ethically unhinged types like Ted Nugent prove conclusively that there is no God, that there never was a God, that God was not what its propaganda cracked him up to be, that God is alive but is Satan, that God is a Republican and a Bush supporter, or that HE's just plain dead.

2. INTELLIGENCE REQUIREMENT

The lower your IQ, the likelier you'll enjoy the company of the Whackmaster.

3. APPROVED BEHAVIOR

Success came easy and early, proof that this society has its wires upside down and that God, whoever he is, loves sadists.

4. TRUE NATURE OF THE MAINSTREAM

The Marines, the Reagan mafia, the Bushites, the FBI, and the rest of the flagwaving crowd, the main defenders of the status quo just love Teddy and are happy to pile honors on him. He was even honored on the Senate floor—(I wonder who engineered this new record for all-time stupidity? Maybe some Republican from the Southwest or the Dakotas?)

5. PROPAGANDA CONQUERS ALL

Orwell was right. There is no foul act or policy you can't whitewash and make palatable by merely giving it a new spin. Nugent is, among other things, Director of the "Quality Deer Management Association of Michigan."

6. THE MEDIA ARE WORTHLESS WHORES

Teddy has been a solid hit on TV, not only proving that the suits that run the media deserve to be whacked by Teddy using his fancy-tipped arrows, but proving again that immoral jerks like The Nuge are obscenely lucky. (See also #1)

7. IT PAYS TO HIDE BEHIND APPLE PIE

Like all card-carrying worthies, the Nuge whitewhashes his remarkable sadism via the usual offerings, like setting up camps for kids so they, too, can learn to blast animals and commune with nature...

And so it goes. You get the point. In a society like this, evil prospers.